tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-279514232024-03-06T23:28:23.414-08:00Mad or What???uninhibited craze...Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.comBlogger141125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-55331695247899734922018-03-20T23:27:00.000-07:002018-03-20T23:27:20.607-07:00Be Here Now<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
There are challenges in meditation. The waves of stories and ego-trips come with an unprecedented force in the meditation sessions. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Here's a stream of consciousness, right after a session.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<h2 style="text-align: left;">
Oh you naughty wave!</h2>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Your flow is unknown<br />And your direction is suspect<br />Just when there is calm<br />A small ripple emerges<br />And before I know it<br />It engulfs me in its force<br /><br />But you are also the resting place<br />The normal<br />The comfort food that keeps me rooted<br />Yet you are what I am battling<br />You are the enemy of my narrative<br />You are to be conquered<br />You are to be avoided<br />You are everything thats wrong for me<br />You are everything that feels right to me<br /><br />Can I not indulge in you?<br />Can I not let you lose on the sea of my mind<br />Can I live in your kingdom <br />where I ride you again and again?<br /><br />Why do I have to give up on the joys of the surf?<br />Why do I have to let you go<br />Simply observe but not indulge?<br />It's so hard - this battle with the ego<br />This struggle to not lose myself in your magical motions<br /><br />I keep trying to let you pass<br />Without giving you your erstwhile importance<br />But there are moments of weakness<br />When I embrace your comfort with open arms<br />Like a guilty child finishing off the remnants of a precious chocolate<br /><br />I know that other, deeper, bigger joys lie<br />In the calm of this moment<br />In the vastness of this very kshan<br />I am trying to Be Here Now<br /><br />But you are the seductress, oh you naughty wave of daydreams!<br />You lead me to places of such pleasures, low they may be<br />Like eating sugar or using a vibrator<br />I know I must move on<br />I know I must NOT give in to your temptations<br /><br />But I must write about your tentacles that grasp me <br />At the fag end of the day<br />When my will power has depleted<br />with a force so strong I am helpless and at your mercy<br />And I lose myself to the dance of the ego<br />Where I am the queen, loved and desired,<br />Where chance encounters with strange men make me weak in the knees<br />Where they touch me in ways that tantalise every pore of my being<br />and take me to the low earthly heaven<br /><br />I must admit though, these ego trips have lost their glory<br />I enjoy them like one watches a watched movie<br />There's no thrill of the unknown<br />But the joy of a known storyline<br />Sometimes it lives up, but most of the times I'd rather not have watched it.<br /><br />Oh you naughty waves, <br />Let's see how long you seduce me<br />Before I find a deeper satiation in being in the now. </div>
</div>
Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-20589221768958226172011-06-01T05:52:00.000-07:002011-06-03T02:12:15.195-07:00The Past and Furious<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Belgium, for all that's said about it, is a colorful and powerful country. But the view of a traveler is so dramatically influenced by personal experiences, that abstracting out from travelogues is a gross approximation.<br />
<br />
And that's especially true if you are a solo female traveler who meets an intellectual criminologist - a witty man who speaks English as a second language, using little-too-appropriate words and wren-and-martin grammer.<br />
She had met him earlier, and now she was in his town as if by chance, but actually because she had planned this visit in her itinerary. He came to pick her up at Eindhoven, a small town in Netherland, and they crossed the border to Belgium by car. (crossing national borders so easily just doesn't come so easy to Indians).<br />
Initially it was awkward, but he being him, went on to spout information, crack jokes etc. Even the silence got comfortable. They reached his house and directly headed for the lawn where they sat under the sun, drinking beer. They talked about travel, grass, music, wacky crimes, teaching, ex-girlfriends, cynicism (not connected to ex-girlfriends), poetry and people skills. They yapped till it was late evening. He took her out for a stroll to show her his part-time job - owning & managing a cozy and chilled cafe in his town. They walked along the wharf and watched the waves. After dinner, they went home where he put on world music and poured some wine. They danced - he did some solos and she laughed with tears in her eyes... watching him perfom his moves, in the candle light. It was a magical evening.<br />
<br />
She then moved on in her travels, and he, in his life. It was a dream sequence of life that happened while she was transitioning from one state to another - one mindset to another - one roadblock to another.<br />
It made a lasting impact - to have seen something very beautiful is to set a standard - to measure everything that comes consecutive on that yardstick - to see things not as they are, but in comparison to that most beautiful thing.<br />
<br />
And then, after a few years, came the day when there was a new development... from old times.<br />
She found herself amidst a newer setting - not the carefree and breezy one as that of a travel-junkie, but the grounded and pragmatic approach of a 'settled' mind. It made sense to play a game that was socially more acceptable and had more guaranteed returns, than the one which was suspended on hopes of reliving the fresh life of travel and love and everything free and liberating. One in hand seemed clearly better than two in the bushes of expectations and dreams.<br />
<br />
This newer setting came home :-)<br />
He chanced upon her belongings and picked up a tattered paper from her travel memoirs... it read "Cafe Zuidpool, Belgium".<br />
He looked at her quizically and raised an eyebrow "Ah, that Belgian guy you kinda liked, na?".<br />
It seemed like such a crass sentence. It was like describing Dhobi Ghat as : "A movie where a rat-killer fell in love with a photographer"... a true but painfully incomplete sentence with irrelevant details.<br />
<br />
He dropped the paper and the talk. She picked up the paper and the thought.<br />
<br />
Sometimes, a chance glance at the clothes while walking past the shop and wondering how they would look on you, is way better than going into the shop to buy them.</div>Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-3369984999945516232010-11-21T22:51:00.000-08:002010-11-21T22:53:44.250-08:00Blissful IgnoranceWhat a silly rat! - little did it know that it's quick scurry across the room would churn the juices of the onlookers' stomach, the wrong way.<br />
It was a strange sight - all of us busy in our worlds . There were two men - a young and a slightly older colleague with strange spectacles - discussing their mundane work and the mundaneness of it.<br />
There was an extended family of 6 crowding on a table meant for 4, ordering meal for more than 8.<br />
On the next table was a solo guy, ostensibly hungry and waiting impatiently for his order to arrive.. checking his cellphone every 5th second.<br />
<br />
And the rat made it's move. Somehow, everyone saw it in that split second - that black blob move across the tainted marble, out of the kitchen.<br />
There was a longer second of silence after that subtle verdict on the quality of Mysore Sada Dosa and 'fresh' watermelon juice that most people were consuming.<br />
Finally, the kid in the family of 6 suddenly cried, and broke the discomforting silence. All got back to eating.<br />
<br />
Information is not always good. It comes in the way of new decisions, it makes you reconsider older decisions that were made with clarity & certainty... it an annoying piece of data that sits idly in your brain and interferes with everything productive.<br />
The worst part is that it's impossible to erase it, and difficult to ignore it. It peeps out at wrong times and stares you in your face, especially when you wish to overlook it.<br />
<br />
It is precisely for this reason that reading books, watching movies, holding serious conversations etc are a double-edged sword. While they may serve as intellectual fodder, it is very difficult to undo them, once done.Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-15402581995895701862010-10-17T14:38:00.000-07:002010-10-17T14:38:00.278-07:00Fire vs WaterIt is the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Navratri">festival</a> that celibrates the victory of good over evil.<br />
<br />
I reach the venue of celebration, to see thousands of kindred souls, enraptured in the music... some trying to match their steps with the groups', others trying to come up with innovative steps... still others with eyes darting and following the moves of co-ordinated choreographies. As they move, there is a cacophony of colors of their attires - vibrant hues of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bandhani">bandhani</a> used in chaniya cholis as well as modern-day adaptations of kurtis, along with the dangling of oxidized jewelry and the what-have-yous of the garba ensemble. <br />
<br />
The music is good, the original songs have always been soulful. There is a marked difference in listening to them in the privacy of your room, versus dancing to them openly, boldly in public.<br />
<br />
I move in rhythm - swirl, hop, kick, almost pirouette in the tempo for a couple of minutes... until the mix of daze and sweat stop me. Even as I stand and stare, I take vicarious pleasure in the people of other groups.<br />
<br />
Some people come to join our dance group. They know someone from the group. I notice that it's a couple and their friend - a strikingly handsome guy. He was the kinda handsome who, you would wish, would never open his mouth to talk or try to dance or do anything else that is high on your litmus test... you know that it is highly improbable that any of his actions would match up to his handsome-ness. In fact they are more likely to reduce his handsome-ness by reminding you of his fallibility.<br />
<br />
Well, he looks around, seemingly unimpressed. He waits and composes himself, drinking water to cool himself, and letting the scene sink in. You can see that he is judging, but not letting the verdict show on his face.<br />
<br />
In some time he joins in. He starts dancing. I watch him amidst my swivels, wanting to decide how good a swivel-er he is. But he is moving in his neither-impressive-nor-clumsy unique, confident style. He smiles occasionally.. almost to himself. He doesn't care if he's fitting in... but he knows he is in sync.<br />
<br />
The stomach gets butterflies amongst all the blazing music and heat and the growing exhaustion. The basic instincts, of putting forth the best appearance, grip over. There is adjustment of clothes and hair and smiles and steps. The carefree-ness is marred by the unaware intruder. But the excitement is doubled. Along with the growing tempo of the songs, I sense a growing fire in the belly.<br />
<br />
And then I see her - an exquisite face with a coquettish charm. She is dressed in bright peacock green, with the right shade of make-up. She is alone.<br />
She is fiddling with her cellphone, and... looking around, unimpressed.<br />
<br />
She looks at our group and decides to join. She is a killer dancer... with flawless synch and matching expressions. She is so graceful and riveting that it makes the 'weaker' dancers pause and watch in admiration.<br />
There is an understandable renewed vigor amongst the men. There is greater energy.<br />
<br />
The show goes on. The butterflies wax and wane... now there are additional butterflies of (peacock) green wings of envy.<br />
People come and go. I dance and pause and resume and pause.<br />
<br />
We are trying to decide on newer steps. I look around. Too much happening - vicarious stuff, colors, synchronizations, butterflies, humidity, and the escalating tempo of the beats. The show is almost coming to an end, as the music suggests.<br />
<br />
And then, in a speechless moment, I see them talk. Clearly, they are introductions. Clearly, they are both playing hard-to-get.<br />
Mysteriously, the butterflies escape.<br />
<br />
I turn around to my boyfriend. He smiles and asks if I want water. I nod.<br />
Comfortable love.Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-68183635869537159352010-07-24T14:51:00.000-07:002010-07-24T14:51:40.316-07:00The Importance of Being CoolYou buy tees from Pantaloons and dresses from Ritu Kumars,<br />
You read the paper every morning to not miss out on the lunch hour discussions<br />
You listen to HipHop so that you can mouth the songs while grooving in the club<br />
You don't answer personal calls at work coz you pretend to be busy at work<br />
You wear halter bras to show a little bit<br />
You put up pretty pics on FB and untag yourself from the unprettier ones<br />
You want a knowledge-filled and social boyfriend<br />
You use a Mac<br />
You have your eyebrows in shape and ensure that no underarm curls sprout out<br />
You talk about evolution with the authority of Darwin's first cousin<br />
You talk about Futures and Options without knowing the underlying<br />
You put up psychedelic posters on the walls of your room<br />
You follow FIFA and the stock market and entrepreneurship blog with undetectable fake passion<br />
<br />
You tread the path of coolness... you try to ooze as much of it as you can imagine<br />
<br />
Can you afford to be uncool, is the question?<br />
More like, do you have the courage to be uncool?Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-85002311073309679362010-07-19T13:08:00.000-07:002010-07-19T13:08:14.848-07:00SqueezyRead the paper during breakfast,<br />
Check the stock prices while going to work,<br />
Listen to music while working,<br />
Browse the net while talking on the phone,<br />
<br />
Dream while sleeping,<br />
Calculate calories while working out,<br />
Think of other conversations while conversing,<br />
Rush around fervidly in this beautiful weather... all one has to do is pause, and stop the f*@#ing multitaskingGargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-65019193771224862972010-07-05T03:31:00.000-07:002010-07-05T03:31:53.146-07:00Love's in the airFalling in love has it's advantages, and catches.<br />
However, re-falling in love has a different set of upsides and downsides.<br />
And re-falling after several re-falls is a totally different ball-game. It is certainly not meant for the faint hearted.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
For starters, even if the initial gush of love is strong, stronger is the caution that grips you from the fear of falling off the love-fence. Romancing the idea of a long-lasting, 'happily ever after' liaison is given up, and its place is taken by pragmatic thoughts of potential issues that could crop up eventually. At odd times, when one is immersed in throes of passion, skepticism peeks out its annoying face to disrupt the bliss. And one of the biggest and unforeseen challenge is to not let the new participant's actions trigger those of the past ones. A joke, a song, the word selected... hell, even a sneeze can transport one to those 'good-old days' with good-ol participants of love. The more 'colorful' a past one has, the more compounded this problem gets.<br />
Then there is the perennial thought-race of who is 'better'. An impossible answer to come up with. And just as impossible to get rid of these comparisons. I guess it's inherent. Humans compare people. That's not the problem. The problem is that this is socially considered to be insensitive. And so along with a seemingly-genuine confusion of 'whos better', there is an added baggage of guilt associated with asking such unkind questions.<br />
<br />
So, what's the key to cracking the puzzle? Is it a wiser strategy to give up on love? How much can a human heart endure? What is the healthy option - to risk another damage, or to go ahead in hope?<br />
A good friend had once given an interesting theory - every time one falls in love, one gives a piece of one's heart to the person. And when there is a break-up, the piece is lost. After several such endeavors, one has lost several pieces (big and small) and the size of the heart has considerably shrunk. Eventually not much of the heart is left to give, and since love primarily involves in giving a piece of heart to someone, one cannot fall in love after some critical number of attempts. <br />
Although hilarious, this theory seems to make sense at different levels of abstraction, and is gradually rising the ranks to becoming my personal favorite.<br />
<br />
There are other statistical <a href="http://bigthink.com/ideas/19484">theories</a> that claim that you should just discard the first 30% of people you date, find the next best and stick on. But statistics get my mind muddled up, given their tricky nature...so, that theory is discarded.<br />
<br />
All said and 'done', there is some truth to the adage- "the heart is forever inexperienced"<br />
The butterflies in the stomach during the initial dates, the long dates that get over too quickly, the "good-night" calls stretching to a 3-hour late-night mushy talks, the storing of every sms on the cell only to re-read and re-live the moment... it feels good to be in this state.<br />
<br />
Also, the re-falls have helped in aligning priorities, and discovering the must-haves in potential partners. Love is respected. It is taken seriously, it is given time and resources. It is not a 'by-the-way' activity, it is THE activity. There is an increased awareness of the emotional investment made.<br />
<br />
More than anything else, one feels free and on top-of-the-world... fearless, flawless and filmy :-) <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-59715481635184163342010-05-28T02:37:00.000-07:002010-05-28T02:41:58.969-07:00Sarpas Final DayVast stretches of snow welcome me. I walk across them - sometimes carefully, other times with carefree abandon.<br />
The sun shines so bright that I feel the burn on my hands. The combination of snow and sun is comforting - if too hot, just lie in the snow, if too cold just stand with arms stretched facing the sun.<br />
<br />
<br />
The snow passes. The scenery becomes fairy-tale picturesque. It's a scene straight out of childhood dreams. There is a lush green sloping land. There are mountains all around - some snow covered pristine peaks and others green with tall pines. There's a distant sound of the stream that runs into the divide between two slopes. The sky is clear except for a few stray clouds forming curious shapes (which can engage the imaginary mind for hours). There are small flowers growing wildly, out of free-will.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgknTQ7_Qc_q8fXdoL-mV_pk58vb4roNzxHIsZvX7fpQUQoezSdT_Qph_ieV8SZNTE2mO-8FMZVDm9iAekQLDPNY4rEmOCleYqzmR1iUzGkJmO1jaoJU2UXuxmbgeFKukU9u3hl/s1600/best_scene.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgknTQ7_Qc_q8fXdoL-mV_pk58vb4roNzxHIsZvX7fpQUQoezSdT_Qph_ieV8SZNTE2mO-8FMZVDm9iAekQLDPNY4rEmOCleYqzmR1iUzGkJmO1jaoJU2UXuxmbgeFKukU9u3hl/s320/best_scene.jpg" /></a>Footprints guide me as I walk along... and the breeze brings with it the stories of people who live and breathe here. I stand still for a moment and shut my eyes. I see healthy horses galloping in the freedom, a wooden hut housing a fulfilled family, and I see a kid lying on the grass with sunlight playing on his face.<br />
<br />
<br />
I don't want to move. I want to capture this feeling. I want to return to this feeling in the dark hours.<br />
<br />
I open my eyes. I see a face. A smile. Confident eyes. And a conversation begins with a fellow-traveler who is equally sunk in the surroundings. We click. We talk and laugh, violating protocols of propriety and appropriateness. We immerse ourselves into each other and the beauty around. General rules of conduct and acceptable principles of communication have no place in a place gushing with natural instincts. We take in the beauty of the wild nature. And walk along.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIn1StWCn3W4rQVWn9vKeQ7q-OAjSH0JM1CUpEmg-Ky0KOE6MbFBCDY28dQeAdKI9ofYXLRND1F5xUu8AI4e0-ks_OCzetKq9o_L2vj651zWH432B2GXcbAvPcn0fbXV4OGqOI/s1600/hailStorm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIn1StWCn3W4rQVWn9vKeQ7q-OAjSH0JM1CUpEmg-Ky0KOE6MbFBCDY28dQeAdKI9ofYXLRND1F5xUu8AI4e0-ks_OCzetKq9o_L2vj651zWH432B2GXcbAvPcn0fbXV4OGqOI/s320/hailStorm.jpg" /></a></div>And then there is rain. We look up. It's hail. Small, but sharp, balls of snow falling around. They stun me. This is even beyond my fecund childhood imagination. There are milk-white balls bouncing off the ground. The lush green gradually gets covered by a white carpet. It drives us crazy. We jump and dance around, two people who have never witnessed such a spectacular performance of nature.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQqCE01A7hMSyvhnUgXYyBW33iNsPhAJJ4oaTaarIM_fUtEhE0xtVjp8FzyEnpMK8qnoANKFT-Q5TKtsiu4fLJ_o4mf-oOHFDmlTmx67ums_CTVlwWc411OvYqnEQ522dEG5Uj/s1600/picture_perfect.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQqCE01A7hMSyvhnUgXYyBW33iNsPhAJJ4oaTaarIM_fUtEhE0xtVjp8FzyEnpMK8qnoANKFT-Q5TKtsiu4fLJ_o4mf-oOHFDmlTmx67ums_CTVlwWc411OvYqnEQ522dEG5Uj/s320/picture_perfect.jpg" /></a></div>Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-86160019529449184582010-02-24T14:00:00.000-08:002010-02-24T14:00:34.905-08:00Vulnerable Child vs Venerable Parent<b>The story goes like this:-</b><br />
<br />
Once upon a time there was a rich girl who, like all rich girls, possessed lot of footwear - Nike running shoes, Keens all-weather flippers, Bata regulars, flip-flops, crocs, high heels and low heels and everything in between. And yet, she wasn't much pleased with her collection. Her parents (who, of course, were a part of a rags-to-riches story) thought she was out-of-control and beyond redemption when it came to her imprudent shopping sprees. But she successfully over-powered them and dragged her harrowed mother to a shoe store to get her a pair of daring red stilettos. <br />
It was there that she saw a girl without legs... suddenly there was torrential rain in the background (and it got the leg-less girl soaked), there was lightening, there were terrifying terrestrial movements, and invariably, these movements caused the camera (that was filming this story) to shake and zoom into the leg-less girl's forlorn face. Three times. From different angles. With zooming in and zooming out swish-swoosh sounds.<br />
Cut to the rich brat: She is clearly humbled. It was the classic epiphany moment and she 'realized her mistake'. She, who could choose a new footwear was face-to-face with someone who didn't have the choice to choose.<br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Another story:-</b><br />
The rich daughter (who now walks barefeet) had a sprightly young brother. He would ask the servant (a decrepit old lady in the most tattered saree) to make him a lot of food for lunch - he would want dhokla and ghee-na-phaaphda, and a lot of undhiyoo made for him. He would fill up his plate, watch TV while eating, and then call the servant to take away the plate... which had a lot of leftover food. One day, the mother, tired of his ways, edified him on how "there are so many people in the world who survive a day on half a bread or less... so you here are wasting food that would probably feed a dozen starved fellas. Do you know what a criminal waste that is?"<br />
This time, the epiphany moment was not that powerful (no lightening or earthy movements... just a daunting adult staring at a confounded child), nonetheless, the guy felt a moral pinch and gulped down all the food.<br />
<br />
Well, apart from the colorful dramatizations, I have had (a not-so-unique) privilege of being the audience of such stories. Surprisingly though, I have hardly ever questioned their logic. They seem so saturated with moral fiber that it felt almost blasphemous to question them... as if the question-er did not have heart enough.<br />
<br />
Since now I am anyway classified as a heartless creature (by the same people who I was afraid of offending with my heartless questions), I might as well take the plunge. <br />
<br />
1. What does the food content on my plate have anything to do with food content in the sub-saharan regions of utter poverty? Do those guys benefit if I eat up all my food? Or do they suffer if I waste?<br />
Or will the girl get her legs back if the rich girl is any less voracious in her shoe appetite? <br />
In other words, connection kya hai, dost?<br />
<br />
2. Do those who are 'suffering', have a claim on those who are relatively well-off?<br />
<br />
<br />
If all the stories that a child is made to hear as a part of her 'learning/culture/sanskaar', are consolidated into a single volume, I am certain there would be moral/logical holes in the arguments. But that is not the disturbing part. What is disturbing and also often, annoying, is that the principles meant to be imparted are deftly sewed together with the fabric of guilt, sympathy, and similar feelings.<br />
<br />
For instance, why couldn't the girl who goes to purchase new shoes be poor, and the leg-less girl be rich?<br />
Or why can't the hungry child example be that of a naughty kid who is kept in detention and hence hungry?<br />
Is there a fear that if these lessons are not camouflaged under the coating of emotional drama, they will taste bitter or be rejected?<br />
<br />
I personally believe that if one wants to drive a point, especially to a growing being, like a child, one has to be honest and clear about it. Else, it messes up the child.<br />
<br />
And if this continues, I think it is time for some of us motivated adults to take up this case and come up with stories for adults that are all-the-more heavily laden with guilt and sympathy and all those things that are tricky to handle... just for kicks!Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-27658174095174381122010-02-13T03:33:00.000-08:002010-02-13T03:33:07.610-08:00Current ThoughtsFollowing are unrelated thoughts that currently bother me.<br />
<br />
1. Sticking to my decisions.<br />
Every once in a while, or more often than that, I come across an article or a book, or a person or some perfectly random trigger (like hearing my friend praise a book) that gets me motivated. I get charged... super-charged perhaps. I am raring to go, I could run a Marathon in that state perhaps. And then, in that state of mind, I make decisions. I commit myself to "I must do this by this month" or so very easily in that state. And then, when the time comes to actually executing that commitment, I become lethargic... I find reasons to not do it. Simply put, I have lost my drive. I know that I must do it somehow, I must get hold of that finance book and read it through. I feel that twist in my long intestinal tract when my mind tactfully refuses to go along with those decisions.<br />
And at the end of it, the failure is mighty frustrating. I look at that book and give up.<br />
Well, THAT act, of not sticking to my decisions is doubly harmful... not only do I not live up to my resolution, but I give my brain negative feedback. I tell it, through my actions, that it was ok to break my word to myself. And that completely ruins self-image.<br />
:-(<br />
<br />
2. Mental health<br />
I see a lot of people trying hard to 'become fit'. Irrespective of their fitness goals there seems to be an effort dedicated by the enterpreneurs to assist these people to reach their goals. There are gyms and aerobic classes, Yoga teachers and a million-dollar diet industry mushrooming that capitalizes on this intention of people - to 'become fit'.<br />
I am genuinely surprised by the lack of 'mental health' gyms. I wonder why it has not become a fad yet. Ostensibly, people are becoming unhealthier in terms of mental health, at least in Mumbai. For whatever reasons, there is a major resource crunch which is causing life to be more painful. There is more traffic, more rush, more competition to get admissions, more pressure from parents on kids, more pressure from kids on parents, from society, from boss... from your freaking kaam-wali bai. It's getting tougher to be happier, or so it seems. At times like these, there should be gyms that sort of increase fitness level. Perhaps the gym should simulate a stressed atmostphere and the trainer trains the patron to stay calmer and happier. Really, it seems to a much needed facility.<br />
<br />
3. Empathy<br />
So, as I walk down the street, there happened to be a bullock-cart wheeling it's way on the busy street in the tempering heat. The slow speed clearly annoyed the driver who, seemingly mercilessly, whipped the bull. And almost everyone who witnessed it, cringed at the sight and felt that terrible rigmarole in the pit of their bellies. I did. And I wonder why. Why do I have to thrust my world-view on the bull? Perhaps that whip didn't hurt much. Perhaps it likes it. Perhaps it got turned on, who knows... goddamit, why do I empathise? I have no idea of what it is to be a bull. My physical strucutre is completely different. So, a whip may not hurt him at all. Clearly, I cannot put myself in the bull's shoes, for the lack of such feet or shoes. So why do I assume it hurts him? Worse still, why do I feel anger at the driver who probably cares more and loves that animal more than all the on-lookers collectively? It really is difficult to shrug off this empathy. It's one of those things were my philosophy is in dissonance with my actual instantaneous reaction to such an act.<br />
<br />
4. Why most of the exciting lives are not built under such a structure.<br />
I am, for a year now, trying to live healthy and mindfully. I am, more than ever before, conscious of my lifestyle - physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually, socially. I eat and sleep healthy and I exercise regularly. I have become financially independent and actively invest and learn more in that field. I do yoga and keep a check on all my negative energy/emotions actively. And I have tried my hand at Art of living, Jainism, meditation for spiritual well-being. Socially, I am more involved with my family and have gotten closer to my friends (through all that partying ;-) )<br />
And I am certainly happier for it.<br />
<br />
But, grudgingly, I concede that most of the exciting stories I read (fiction/non-fiction) seem to have the protagonist living a super colorful and much-envied (by me) life without really taking much effort in the directions of well-being that I am taking. Shantaram, for instance, lived the most exciting life I know of. He was the most-wanted guy of Australia and broke thru the highest-security prison, lived in the Mumbai slums, was a part of mafia, lived in Arthur road jail, fought in Afghanistan, fell in love, and wrote a book about all this! What could be more enviable.<br />
<br />
And the guy smoked regularly, was financially questionable, a social-outcast once, and emotionally on heroin-support when he felt like! <br />
<br />
Anyway, I guess one can't plan an exciting life. It either happens and you are prepared for it. Or you just survive a banal existence.<br />
But like Klaus had once told me, "luck favors the prepared". I am going to be prepared (with all my strength training) in case I get an opportunity to join the Mafia ;-)Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-63887185058504555282010-02-08T12:06:00.000-08:002010-02-08T12:06:33.611-08:00The StudHe knew her for a long time. He knew exactly how she felt about studying incomprehensible subjects before the exam during those scary engineering days, he understood her frustrations at her failure to score well. He could make her laugh by simply making faces... and he knew her humor g-spots so well, that she would metaphorically shudder at the slightest insinuations of his typically flamboyant-yet-honest, semi-mocking, semi-cocky jokes. <br />
<br />
They would discuss movies, and he would give the most appealing reviews which were just-rightly aberrant from her perspective.... the aberrance that provoked the most intriguing thoughts in her head.<br />
He understood music and sang well. He enjoyed correcting her singing. He knew about the raagaas - not too much perhaps, but just enough to amuse her. He enjoyed dancing and she did too. He explained history and civics and geography and politics to her in the most fascinating way - combining story-telling with subjective edification.<br />
<br />
He took deep interest in people and their ways, in societies and their working, in finance, in sports, in trivia, in making friends and mocking them amicably, in postulating outrageous theories, in devouring unhealthy road-side indian-chinese food, in sitting on the steps of a moving train watching the scene go by. <br />
He possessed a great interest in life, in love... and in learning.<br />
<br />
She thought of him and her as two tributaries of the same river which ran down the mountain together and faced similarly challenging terrain, which often converged to form a single stream, and then again diverged at agreeable deltas... only to join the sea together.<br />
<br />
He defined what it implies to be 'an old friend'.<br />
He had been a savior during those vivas, and an entertainer in the mind-numbing lectures, and the guy who hinted the answer (often wrong) from the side when the teacher asked her a question, an annoying lab-partner who consistently undervalued her attempts at programming and discussed ways of procuring the program print-out directly. He was the understanding 'best friend' to confide the excitement of young love as well as the tumultuous woes of a heart-broken, disillusioned damsel in distress... and everything between those two states.<br />
<br />
He was her alter-ego... someone she could always bounce her ideas on, seeking clarity of her own mind.<br />
<br />
<br />
There are certain relationships that don't fit the framework of social structure.<br />
Was he a friend? Much more.<br />
Was he a good friend? Ya, but more.<br />
Was he a boyfriend? No.<br />
Did she have a crush on him? No.<br />
Did she love him? Yes.<br />
But didn't she open out more to him than any other person (crush/boyfriend/'guy-friend'/girl-friend) she knew? Yes.<br />
<br />
Bollywood honchos have had it right from the beginning - "Ek ladka aur ek ladki kabhi sirf dost nahi reh sakte hai"<br />
<br />
Here's raising a toast to a lifetime of companionship with him - fun, frolic and living life fully!<br />
:-)Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-358731777379210542010-01-06T10:01:00.000-08:002010-01-06T10:01:57.452-08:00choice about choicesYou take big decisions seriously. They are life altering after all, you argue.<br />
Casual small decisions are taken 'by the way'. They happen. They are not that significant to you.<br />
<br />
You think and re-think and make a decision about the college you want to go to. And then you re-rethink and change your mind. You dilly-dally and weigh the sides until you think you have put in enough labor and are finally satisfied (hopefully). (Yet you are woeful when the college you foregave seems more promising on hindsight, what with your friends enjoying their time there immensely).<br />
Similarly, whether to go for an MBA, MS, job, family beeziness, break, early-marriage, fooling around, waiting for the annual ritual of entrance exams... whatever you select, you ensure that you put in the deserved thought labor to the decision.<br />
<br />
But really, what do we think when we think we are trying to decide? Do we look for any new information on the subject, or do we look for new information in the crevices of our mind... about ourselves?<br />
<br />
The small decisions that you have made over the period of your life matter more... whether you chose craft or arts or music or drawing as that optional subject, whether you studied sanskrit or not, whether you were given a chance in the inter-school basketball tournament, whether you agreed to participate in the debate competition, whether you forced your mother to get you the new bike so that you could get thrill rides with fellow bikers, whether you were convinced that that silly but cute boy would make for a 'good bf' and gave him a chance, whether you copied and didn't get caught... or got caught, whether you chose to flout basic rules of propriety because you didn't understand the import of it.<br />
Whether you cared about the choices you have to make everyday... whether you realized they were choices in the first place, that would eventually accumulate to what you would look back and call your life!<br />
<br />
<br />
I realized today how much I enjoy reading... and I attribute that to one blessed day in history when a classmate mistakenly gave me a Nancy Drew book. It was the first serious novel that I read (semi) voluntarily. It was as late as 8th or 9th grade.<br />
And it was absolutely un-put-down-able. I was hooked...<br />
and i wonder how many other things I could have (still can) potentially gotten hooked on to, only if I made a small choice... not life-altering when I make it, but perhaps life-altering when looked back upon.Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-84696383829285834252009-12-13T01:55:00.000-08:002009-12-13T02:00:15.521-08:00BeautyFrom as long as I can recollect, one of my pursuits in social encounters has been to understand what makes a person popular. Sometimes it has been the 'attractive' lass, other times it has been that really funny guy who got everyone is splits, sometimes it is the person who enamored everyone by his talks and discussions, or someone who is already popular and making the most of it.<br />
<br />
However, I have seen the lesser beautiful being more attractive, the less funny guy who makes everyone at ease, more popular... in general, even the second ranker can beat the alpha fella. How?<br />
I have come to believe in the theory (if there is one) of aura. Aura, as defined by the first entry of google search is : <b> </b> <i>A distinctive but intangible quality that seems to surround a person or thing.</i><br />
<br />
I take it to mean the positive energy surrounding a person. I know of times when I would feel so mad at something that happened at home, and then, when I had to go out, no amount of make-up or accessories or good clothing would make me feel beautiful. And then there were those times when with a spring in my gait I would hop around the house, and smile alone and sing loudly and be carefree and in love with life. I would take approximately 2 minutes to get ready and without any effort I would feel so beautiful.<br />
The same is true of what I feel for my friends when I meet them. Some of us term this energy as 'mood'. I am not sure if it is correct... it is close. But the energy is much more than the mood. It's a superset.<br />
<br />
The theory of aura is similar to that of leshya. My mother had once expounded on it, and I am completely sold on it. It says that everyone is carrying with them this halo (energy field) around their bodies. The halo has colors - it has soothing colors (light blue and green... perhaps the cool colors) when you are happy and at peace. It has bright red and all those scary colors when you are angry and mighty displeased. Basically, the color reflects your energy field. This energy field can be sensed by those close to you. And so, you are attractive if you have an attractive energy field around you. This is one of the prime factors that affects how much people like you.<br />
<br />
So, next time you are going for that party or the all-important meeting, remember to check your aura before you check your make-up and attire :-)Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-90794697634609515822009-11-08T11:13:00.000-08:002009-11-08T11:20:29.976-08:00The much-needed kickA stormy night... the perfect backdrop for a story to begin.<br />
She looked out and had a slightly sinking feeling. There was no way she could go out. She looked around helplessly, trying to evaluate all the methodologies for escape. None seemed viable.<br />
<br />
She was stuck. It was one of those things that are difficult to digest, but nonetheless, have the signs for a potential adventure. She sat on a chair. Around her were others who felt just as helpless. Not much could be done except make light talk and stare at those talking on phone to the 'outside world'.<br />
<br />
It was quite a scene in the office building on 26/07 - the day Mumbai got flooded.. the primary reason being that no-one (no BMC, weather dept, Bejan Daruwala) could forecast that there would be such rains. And not being able to forecast before the showers is still somewhat acceptable. But what about the forecasts after the torrential rains start pouring? 'Probably 2 more hours', 'is it only in this area of Mumbai?', 'how many inches do you think this is?'. <br />
No one in the office had a clue. All communication channels were severed.<br />
The building being a fancy glass-cladded building, it was ensured that there could be no leakage of the conditioned air.. which in turn implied that there were hardly any windows.<br />
<br />
So, stuck on the 14th floor with several other employees in darkness at mid-night, with the cell-phone serving no more than a paper-weight, and sweating and smelling within the suffocating shut-window area, I sat happily.<br />
After the initial sense of confusion and turbulence, comes the stage of excitement for the ensuing adventure.<br />
<br />
What is it about adventure? What was it that I felt that night that I have treasured since then? Why do I wish that at least once in my lifetime I get to see the oxygen mask drop on me in an airplane (if not get to use the life-jacket)?<br />
<br />
Contrary to what the media has to say, I believe that we live in an inherently safe society. We have come a long way in dispensing off the thrills of the dangers faced by our ancestors. And this lack of thrill in an 'aam aadmi's' life makes his/her life a wee-bit incomplete. And that's what gets us excited when we read 'sensational' news. We take vicarian pleasures in our fellow 'aam aadmis'' more thrilling lives. We get rather excited when we hear tales from the eye-witnesses of crimes, catastrophes, scandals.<br />
<br />
There is a certain amount of thrill that is desirable. We would certainly not like it to cost us our health or peace of mind. However, an uneventful life pushes one to take extreme steps to feel the thrill.<br />
<br />
The movie "The Game" is a wonderful story based on similar grounds.<br />
<br />
I wonder what it would feel like to be caught in war, in a revolution, to be part of a military organization, to hold a fire-arm, or have one placed on the forehead?<br />
How would one react? It seems that one cannot know oneself completely until one is exposed to a variety of situations. It is tempting to envy those whose lives are at greater risks, of course, with the greater 'rewards' of adrenaline-pumpings. <br />
<br />
In any case, the night stay at the office on 26/07 was brilliant, with random people chatting animatedly about random topics under candlelight. Not all storms are bad.Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-63015183786137646802009-10-30T15:49:00.000-07:002009-10-30T15:49:06.960-07:00Shares of life?A Company is owned by share-holders who nominate a 'management team' to manage the company for them.<br />
What is the aim of the management team? Is it to run the company smoothly, ensure the brand-name is created/maintained, keep the employers happy? Perhaps.<br />
<br />
What are the financial aims of the management, or more appropriately, the corporate finance team/dept?<br />
Is it to increase profitability? Increase Sales? Increase volumes? Increase Profit Margin?<br />
It is tough to make any of these as the aim. For instance, increasing profitability seems like a sound goal, and a seemingly innocuous one. But then, it has to be quantified. Profitability for the next year, or the one after that, or all years? Can they use inferior raw-material and sell at the same price to increase profits? Increase Sales? A statement like: "The goal is to increase profitability" leaves a lot of room for misinterpretation or misrepresentation of the motives of the share-holders (the guys who own the company).<br />
<br />
A beautiful and strikingly clear goal for the Finance team is to "Increase the share value".<br />
This takes into account everything. The increase in share value implies that the 'worth' of the company has increased. The share-holders cannot help but be happy with this.<br />
<br />
It might seem obvious (what-was-so-ooh-lala-about-this) to someone. But any other goal is tainted with un-clarity. Once you have such a goal (and of course a set of ethical codes), it simplifies the decision-making process.<br />
<br />
I can almost imagine the guy (guys? team? reasearch group? confederation?) that came up with this idea that all the finance group had to do was try to legitimately increase the share-value. They would have solved a deep-rooted question of corporate finance. And made it, at least coming up with a target, a cake-walk for the rest.<br />
<br />
I wish a guy (guys? team? blah blah) come up with a similar rule for living life. There are many theories to what would make a 'successful liver', just like what would make for a 'successful' finance team. <br />
One can say that a desirable goal of life is to increase happiness (similar to increasing profitabilty). But this statement is un-clear, just like 'increasing profitability' is unclear. You could cheat through a test and score high and the high score might make you happy... and the cheating may not necessarily make you that sad/guity. The classic question is that would you try to be happy at the cost of someone else's happiness, just like would you try to make profits by harming the competitor's product?<br />
You could. And you could justify that the statement 'increasing happiness' didn't have any clauses.<br />
<br />
But is there an equivalent of 'increasing share-value' for the conundrum of life?<br />
<br />
The thrill is in making profits.... but in different ways - taking the challenge of making a non-performing assets profitable, finding a niche market for your product and booking profits, positioning yourself to make profits, obtaining cheap loans and making profits, making a loss in your debut venture and yet seeing the profit of knowledge in it.<br />
<br />
And similarly, the thrill is in being happy. And that is, similarly, through different avenues - participating in an adventure and being happy, laughing madly at a joke, feeling thankful, being appreciated, and even getting stressed for an interview would constitute happiness. You would want to make the most of all of these channels for happiness.<br />
<br />
But what would be that one line - one phrase that could sum it all up, make a clear goal and make life 'easier' for the rest?Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-79073867048765465332009-10-23T16:12:00.000-07:002009-10-23T16:12:37.363-07:00Current HappeningsOver the years I have come to realize that the most overwhelming fear I have is that of appearing 'foolish'.<br />
No matter how confident I grow, the fear constantly lurks like an annoying fly one can't get rid of. I remind myself that there is no such thing as a 'stupid' question, repeatedly. And just when I think I have gotten over the fear, a situation comes up to test me. I bump into an acquaintance. I try hard to recollect but fail. I know I am supposed to know her... of course I know her. Why can't I place her? What was her name at least? And then, she goes on talking without doubting my knowledge. And after 5 minutes of conversation, I get painfully restless. Now it's too late to prop a question along the lines of 'how do I know you?'. I want to escape instead of confront it... and I keep thinking, what if I bump into her again?<br />
<br />
The problem is that such situations should be resolved at the earliest. One must take that extra step of courage instantly, instead of hoping that it will resolve on it's own. Such problems simply get compounded with time.<br />
<br />
(PS: The trick I follow if I don't remember someone's name is that I ask for their cell number and then ask them how they exactly spell their names :-) (courtesy Monil) )<br />
<br />
Apart from that, things have been smooth. It's a good life. Work takes up most time and the rest is divided between gymming, dancing and singing.<br />
On weekends, the songs I invariably hear are "I gotta feeling tonight's gonna be a good night" and "I wanna make up now now now" and a song that goes something like "blah blah blah... go down down'. I really like going down on that song :-)<br />
<br />
I liked the latest research that said men aren't 'real men' anymore or something like that! Hehe... the average women not too long back were 'stronger' than men today. The Fair&Handsomes are not doing themselves too proud. And what with artificial sperm (or something) being discovered recently, the men might find themselves rather useless in the evolutionary battles. I mean, they've never been great at understanding women, not made themselves useful in household chores, women are matching (or moving ahead) men in their primary job of providing food and shelter to family, men might not be needed in procreation if the artificial sperm is anything to go by... and then, most of the times they are getting in the way of some useful task or getting on the nerves of a useful woman.<br />
It's going to be a woman's world soon...Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-42070452349728591062009-09-25T11:33:00.000-07:002009-09-25T11:33:54.491-07:00Koop MandookThe potential topics I could write on:-<br />
<br />
1. Navratri and all the fanfare and Falguni's trance<br />
<br />
2. Current life conundrums... something typically reflective in third person's voice.<br />
<br />
3. Observations and conclusions regarding Mumbai life (or it's junta).<br />
<br />
4. Some incident/event of recent time that triggered a debate in my head.<br />
<br />
That's it!<br />
All these are too redundant. It is strange that almost everything I can think of falls within one of these broad topics... and that I can't think out of this 'box'.<br />
<br />
And everyday, when I read the editorial of Times Of India, which invariably has an article by Jug Surraiya or Bacchi Karkaria, I am in awe. Their writings mostly have a radical perspective, compelling humor derived from a very cool insight, and generally a clear point.<br />
<br />
It's admirable that they can achieve that. They are my personal heroes.<br />
<br />
Saying in a shop: <i>To see the entire picture, you have to step out of the frame.</i><br />
<br />
That was brilliant. To be able to write about things that are beyond one's personal predicaments, one needs to be willing to accommodate other view points irrespective of how futile/indigestible they might seem. Stepping out of the frame is rather important (at least) for being able to write well.Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-52491006262608219542009-08-20T12:50:00.000-07:002009-08-20T13:45:43.924-07:00Mythya-ologyThese days I happen to attend certain lectures/sermons on The Bhagvad Geeta and that has re-ignited my dormant desire to gain insight into mythological/spiritual stories.<br /><br />What I understand of the Geeta currently is largely (or perhaps entirely) dependent on the interpretation of the speaker ('Guru'). And so, some of my contentions may be more with the interpretation rather than the actual context.<br /><br />My chief complaints (some against the story of Mahabharat and others against Geeta) are probably stemming from my agyaan. Some of them are:-<br /><br />1. It is difficult to understand why Pandavas 'deserved' the throne. The original heir (older son) was Dhritarashtra and the kingdom belonged to him. However, due to his blindness his younger brother Pandu ruled (almost like Dhritarashtra handed over certain Powers of Attorney... but thats it). That certainly didn't imply that Pandu's sons would inherit the kingdom. So why the whole fuss about Pandavas (Pandu's sons) wanting to rule the kingdom _rightfully_?<br /><br />2. In the story, a highly foolish, weak and (I would say) immoral man is worshipped. Weak because he was not strong enough to resist the temptation of gambling; foolish because he could not see through a devious plan; immoral because he had the nerve and the heart to stake his wife as a gamble. Now if such a man made such a crazy move, and consequentally lost his wife to (say) Mr.D, who should be the villain? Should the wife get mad at her husband, or at Mr.D?<br />Its unbelievable that very few (if any) versions of the story criticize Yudhisthir for staking Draupadi, and almost all of them demonize Duryodhan (and Dushasan) for misbehaving with Draupadi. It seems totally uncalled for the Kauravas to get a bad name for this!<br /><br />3. Duryodhan's name was Suyondhan. Not a good thing to change a 'su' to 'du' simply because a 'majority' (Pandava's side, who eventually wrote the story!) thinks he is a 'bad guy'.<br /><br />4. My biggest complaint is against Krishna. Honestly, I don't get it. It is too twisted to make sense. On one hand, he plays the role of a mortal (a friend, a cousin, a naughty kid etc) and lives as if he is one of the mortals. But on the other hand, he is The Divine. Now if he kept these two things separate, it would be easier to make sense of things. But he confused some (and me).<br /><br />a) Krishna tells Arjun that he must fight the war, even at the cost of the death of Arjun's teachers, uncles and brothers.<br /><br />b) When Arjun is still confused, Krishna takes on his Divine Self and shows him the future - how the Kauravas and Drona and Bheeshma etc are being chewed in Krishna's mouth... which signifies their death.<br />So, Krishna tells Arjun the result of the war and also conveys that whether Arjun chooses to fight the war or not, and whether he slays the Kauravas and Drona etc or not, they are dead. Arjun is only incidental to their death. He is not the cause of their death. Their death is predetermined, and Arjun simply has to perform his duty and shoot the arrows.<br />Methinks this is getting into tricky realm! Does that imply that Krishna implies that the future is predetermined? If so, what determined it? Was it their karma?<br /><br />c) When Arjun wants to kill Jayadrath and there seems to be no way to find Jayadrath (who must be seen and slain before sunset), Krishna creates a pseudo-sunset. He pulls a cloud in front of the sun.<br />Krishna had promised be a part of the war as a simple charioteer (just a mortal). It was unfair to use his divine powers of moving clouds around, tricking the enemy, and then assisting Arjun in aiming at Jayadrath.<br /><br />d) In another incident (almost at the end of the war), when Duryodhand is single handedly fighting the Pandavas... and Bhim in particular, Krishna knows that Duryodhan's weak spot was his thigh /9this weakness of Duryodhan was also due to Krishna's trickery). So he instructs Bhim to attack there, and then Duryodhan succombs to his pain.<br /><br />e) Krishna is Time, he is the Past, Present and Future. In him reside Brahma (as was seen in the Geeta). This Brahmaand where we all exist, comes from Brahma. The entire Brahmaand is seen within him. So who is he? How can he be talking to Arjun on the lands of Kurukshetra which is in the Brahmaand which is in Krishna? This is why he can't be a charioteer and the Divine at the same time.<br /><br /><br /><br />Mahabharat is simply a dramatic story of how a 'God' can convert all the wrongs to right by simply being 'God'... and how you can win a battle if you can convince that 'God' (who has no qualms about indulging in deceit, renege, immodesty) to be on your side. All the rightness/goodness of the Pandavas seem to be a deadly whitewash over their not-so-right motives.<br /><br />Phew! Some things are too unsettling to let go.<br />:-)<br /><br />Also, an<a href="http://thingsundone.wordpress.com/2007/04/21/21/"> interesting insight</a> on 2 characters of Mahabharat :Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-64431784172178691772009-08-11T12:13:00.000-07:002009-08-11T12:31:31.768-07:00Dhan te NanKya majaa aaya!<br /><br />Discoing with insanely loud moozik with colorful lights spanking your face at odd times and downing the fifth nectar... and dancing till either your feet are numb, or till you realize you HAVE to visit the washroom and vacate one forcibly if all are occupied... aaahaha!<br /><br />What is it about 'clubbing'? After one is sufficiently into it, it seems that no relaxation can beat the surreal feel of swaying thru your own universe. It's like finding that perfect spot for acupuncture... and pressing it with the right pressure.<br /><br />I think the trick is:-<br />1. You are generally much more fancily dressed and hence more confident<br /><br />2. If you are a girl, your sexiness quotient goes a notch higher because of all the oomph you carry suddenly. That makes you feel nice!<br /><br />3. You are free in terms of time... you don't have to reach anywhere... you don't have deadlines or targets swaying over your head like an unwanted bubble.<br /><br />4. You see other good looking people who are laughing and dancing... that makes you infer that there is so much happiness available here for grabs. So you grab it... tee hee!<br /><br />5. You dance. You are awkward. Of course, immaterial of what House, Soft rock, Hip hop means, you know no more than 3 different steps . Which means within some time, you have mastered them. You down a few drinks. You get creative enough to come up with variations in them. You like it that you are creative and the newly conjured step totally fits with the music. You are so convinced of that that your face reflects it. This convinces the others and they do that step. Ah! Now you are a leader of the pack... for some moments.<br /><br />6. The music is too loud for any kind of conversations. That eliminates those meaningless and mindless conversations... or even the pressing need for a conversation to diffuse the airs of awkwardness. You dance with all and sundry. If you are graceful, you can do a full turn and take a quick preview of those around you. Next time, take a half turn and dance with the oh-so-cool dood behind you.<br /><br />All in all, it really is such a good way to unwind, exercise, grow, re-affirm self-worth, go-all-out.. that there should be a serious effort by the NGOs to promote such a state of well-being.<br /><br />Really really really. And what with Bollywood hip hop entering the scene? We finally found our panacea in our utopia!Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-50637646588605805592009-08-07T12:27:00.000-07:002009-08-07T13:25:52.322-07:00DisturbancesCouple of points and questions (some raised after watching some of 'Zeitgeist Addendum')<br /><br />1. Money<br />Money is primarily required because there is scarcity of resources. We pay a higher price for diamonds, and much lower for bananas... and much much lower (zero) for air. That is because diamonds are very scarce, whereas bananas are more abundant... and air is highly abundant and everyone has access to that abundance.<br />Given this premise, if all that a human needs for existence (his bare necessities) are made highly abundant and accessible, will there be a need for money?<br />There might be a need for money for barter of the non-essential utilities, which he uses for pleasure and/or recreation.<br />But what if even that is in abundance?<br />Since <span style="font-weight: bold;">everyone</span> has their basic needs fulfilled (you can have as much food you want), one doesn't really need to 'work to make a living'. Now one works to do stuff one likes.<br />And that might translate to A loving to make computers that B uses... So A makes a lot of computers and gives (not sells) them to others who want it.<br />B on the other hand makes other valuable things and gives it. If there is enough variety in people's desire to make 'value', then the system might work... isn't it?<br /><br /><br />2. Education<br />Should we teach students skills that make them better at their job (specialized learning) or should we teach them skills to enjoy (kill?) time when they are not at their job (generalized learning)?<br />In most cases in real-world scenarios, people claim to learn more 'on-job' than in school. This is confirmed by salary hikes for 'experienced' people, even if they lack the requisite academic degree for the job. If people anyway learn more on the job, what is the job of educational institutions (apart from imparting super-basic mathematical/language skills for basic communication and reasoning)?<br /><br /><br />3. Crime<br />Given that a majority of crimes are committed by poor people, is there any differential judgment/treatment meted out based on the economic background of the criminal? If fairness is sought, isn't it necessary to have such a differential treatment?<br /><br /><br />4. Religion<br />Why do many religions (at least the popular ones) penalize certain natural instincts in order to attain salvation (or its equivalent)? And also, reward or champion the not-so-natural instincts? For instance, giving alms to the needy seems to be totally un-natural, given that it is difficult (naturally) to unnecessarily part with that which you have 'rightfully' earned. It might be that most of us have seen it being done by parents/those-we-look-up-to and hence think it 'natural' of us to want to donate.<br />It seems that the basic foundations of religions - to be based on 'tennets' or rules to be followed, is flawed. That leaves very little room for evolution of these rules. Societies (governments, law systems, religion) ought to be evolving rather than establishing. And if that is not the case, sooner or later they will be overthrown by a more evolved rule-book, when there is enough nerve in enough people to challenge the established norms even at the cost of salvation.<br /><br /><br />5. Human Nature vs Human Behavior<br />Is there such a thing as human nature? Are greed, desire to compete, desire for happiness and all those other things that we call 'human', wired into us? Or is it that as soon as we are born, we are placed into a society that invariably inculcates this in us, making it a human behavior and not human nature?<br />This seems to be a pretty basic question, one which might have an answer to in an introductary psychology book.<br />But yet, one wonders, what (if any) proofs can be provided to convincingly argue one case over the other. Somehow, basic psychological conundrums run deep into most of us... and it is difficult to know the answers because there are too many varied 'results' thrown out to us, and all with different force. So it gets tricky to give each result its due importance without bias towards a personal belief.<br /><br /><br />Sometimes it really seems tempting to shun all attempts to know more about anything that can lead to a change or disturbance in one's personally held belief system. This inertia against change in one's beliefs is perhaps something that nature provides to humans... as a tool for self-preservation?Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-50979419111553570772009-08-04T15:57:00.000-07:002009-08-04T16:17:59.100-07:00Reading a scary book!It took a hella chance for me to be created. Reading about evolution in a dummies-guide-to-evolution sorta book made me feel special. A lot of (LOT) things had to go 'right' (genetically and otherwise) for me to be created. And who knows what I am.<br /><br />It is difficult to look at humans as a bunch of atoms that are individually nothing, but together, form a unifying pattern. Well, it might be simple if that was the only view possible.<br /><br />But most of the times, I think of myself as someone who likes so and so music and such and such author, that I like to read jokes and take excessive chances, that I had fallen in love and out of it.<br />I cant get myself to think of myself in terms of genes and such.<br /><br />And the reason for getting disturbed to think of myself as a mere combination of some genetic code or a bunch of specializing atoms is precisely that! It leaves very little room for 'good' and 'bad'.<br />All judgments go for a toss. Somehow (perhaps incorrectly so), the faith in 'choice' lessens. Likes, dislikes, actions, emotions.... all of them seem just another combination of smaller entities (hormones, pheromones, what-not-mones).<br /><br />I think I like to think 'highly' of people. I would like to continue to think of people (and myself) as someone who has achieved so and so, as someone who lives by so and so philosophy, as someone who... as someONE!<br /><br />It is unsettling to read these things on evolution... write-ups that coldly disintegrate a person into elements that are incapable of being judged. How can the concept of good and bad disappear? Immaterial of how personal the judgment of good or bad is, the existence of such judgment is paramount to choosing what I do (I choose to blog over not to blog because I see some good in blogging over not blogging).<br /><br />It is not only unsettling, but it really is scary. One helluva scary domain you don't want to enter if you are not suitably prepared.Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-39580105050690265532009-07-30T09:45:00.000-07:002009-07-30T10:00:30.802-07:00And I tought again...today.<br /><br />It was wonderful, to explain things to younger minds... to enjoy seeing them learn something new - their minds being enthusiastically receptive to a new concept, and then following it, and then suddenly not following it, and then on further explanation them following it after a suitable 'aha' moment.<br /><br />Nice nice nice.<br /><br />During the journey back, I was reminded of Subhadra kumari Chauhan's poem - Mera Naya Bachpan that I liked. I guess now I like it even more... She talk about how wonderful her childhood was, and goes on to describe the 'little things'... and then how she misses it. And then finally, she experiences her childhood again, in her daughter<br /><br /><br /><p><strong>मेरा नया बचपन – सुभद्राकुमारी चौहान</strong></p> <p>बार-बार आती है मुझको मधुर याद बचपन तेरी।<br />गया ले गया तू जीवन की सबसे मस्त खुशी मेरी॥</p> <p>चिंता-रहित खेलना-खाना वह फिरना निर्भय स्वच्छंद।<br />कैसे भूला जा सकता है बचपन का अतुलित आनंद?</p> <p>ऊँच-नीच का ज्ञान नहीं था छुआछूत किसने जानी?<br />बनी हुई थी वहाँ झोंपड़ी और चीथड़ों में रानी॥</p> <p>किये दूध के कुल्ले मैंने चूस अँगूठा सुधा पिया।<br />किलकारी किल्लोल मचाकर सूना घर आबाद किया॥</p> <p>रोना और मचल जाना भी क्या आनंद दिखाते थे।<br />बड़े-बड़े मोती-से आँसू जयमाला पहनाते थे॥</p> <p>मैं रोई, माँ काम छोड़कर आईं, मुझको उठा लिया।<br />झाड़-पोंछ कर चूम-चूम कर गीले गालों को सुखा दिया॥</p> <p>दादा ने चंदा दिखलाया नेत्र नीर-युत दमक उठे।<br />धुली हुई मुस्कान देख कर सबके चेहरे चमक उठे॥</p> <p>वह सुख का साम्राज्य छोड़कर मैं मतवाली बड़ी हुई।<br />लुटी हुई, कुछ ठगी हुई-सी दौड़ द्वार पर खड़ी हुई॥</p> <p>लाजभरी आँखें थीं मेरी मन में उमँग रँगीली थी।<br />तान रसीली थी कानों में चंचल छैल छबीली थी॥</p> <p>दिल में एक चुभन-सी थी यह दुनिया अलबेली थी।<br />मन में एक पहेली थी मैं सब के बीच अकेली थी॥</p> <p>मिला, खोजती थी जिसको हे बचपन! ठगा दिया तूने।<br />अरे! जवानी के फंदे में मुझको फँसा दिया तूने॥</p> <p>सब गलियाँ उसकी भी देखीं उसकी खुशियाँ न्यारी हैं।<br />प्यारी, प्रीतम की रँग-रलियों की स्मृतियाँ भी प्यारी हैं॥</p> <p>माना मैंने युवा-काल का जीवन खूब निराला है।<br />आकांक्षा, पुरुषार्थ, ज्ञान का उदय मोहनेवाला है॥</p> <p>किंतु यहाँ झंझट है भारी युद्ध-क्षेत्र संसार बना।<br />चिंता के चक्कर में पड़कर जीवन भी है भार बना॥</p> <p>आ जा बचपन! एक बार फिर दे दे अपनी निर्मल शांति।<br />व्याकुल व्यथा मिटानेवाली वह अपनी प्राकृत विश्रांति॥</p> <p>वह भोली-सी मधुर सरलता वह प्यारा जीवन निष्पाप।<br />क्या आकर फिर मिटा सकेगा तू मेरे मन का संताप?</p> <p>मैं बचपन को बुला रही थी बोल उठी बिटिया मेरी।<br />नंदन वन-सी फूल उठी यह छोटी-सी कुटिया मेरी॥</p> <p>‘माँ ओ’ कहकर बुला रही थी मिट्टी खाकर आयी थी।<br />कुछ मुँह में कुछ लिये हाथ में मुझे खिलाने लायी थी॥</p> <p>पुलक रहे थे अंग, दृगों में कौतुहल था छलक रहा।<br />मुँह पर थी आह्लाद-लालिमा विजय-गर्व था झलक रहा॥</p> <p>मैंने पूछा ‘यह क्या लायी?’ बोल उठी वह ‘माँ, काओ’।<br />हुआ प्रफुल्लित हृदय खुशी से मैंने कहा – ‘तुम्हीं खाओ’॥</p> <p>पाया मैंने बचपन फिर से बचपन बेटी बन आया।<br />उसकी मंजुल मूर्ति देखकर मुझ में नवजीवन आया॥</p> <p>मैं भी उसके साथ खेलती खाती हूँ, तुतलाती हूँ।<br />मिलकर उसके साथ स्वयं मैं भी बच्ची बन जाती हूँ॥</p> <p>जिसे खोजती थी बरसों से अब जाकर उसको पाया।<br />भाग गया था मुझे छोड़कर वह बचपन फिर से आया॥</p> <p><em>-Poem by Subhadra Kumari Chauhan</em></p>Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-86642862845525607072009-07-16T01:52:00.001-07:002009-07-16T02:09:46.595-07:00junoonI get hyper.<br />That's it - I've said it.<br /><br />I get hyper-irritated to see my friends 'speak their mind' when they are actually re-quoting some newspaper or smart alec and trying to pass it as their profound thoughts.<br />I dont know why I get hyper-irritated... I mean I know that all our thoughts are stolen to an extent.<br /><br />I get hyper-angry when I see things not being done the way I expect them to... when the milk is left un-covered in the fridge, when the mixer is not not properly shut, when the honey bottle is left open teasingly for ants to feast.<br />I work hard to drive sense into the servants' and family members' minds... but all in vain.<br /><br />I get hyper-bored to see 'intellectual' blog posts or articles, especially if they are written with an attitude of 'this-is-what-I-think-and-why-don't-you-guys-agree-to-this-obviously-logical-thought'?<br /><br />I get hyper-annoyed with people who say 'you've changed' when I spout my newly acquired point of view got from my newly gathered wisdom. Dyooode, we are _supposed_ to change... and the word is 'evolve'. I hyper-hate it when people think that contradicting yourself is a crime!<br /><br />I get into hyper-avoidance when I see certain people. I don't answer calls, say hi to them when I meet... totally avoid them. That's just because I think no good can come of the small talk. But then I get hyper-disappointed at myself for lacking social skills.<br /><br />I get hyper-happy when I read Bachhi Karkaria's (THE role model) articles in TOI or elsewhere, when I listen to the mellow and understanding voice of Love-guru who attempts to solve the love-problems of the youth of Mumbai in the late night show on radio, when I sip the 2nd glass of sweet lime juice with masala, when I drive on the highway in torrential rains...<br /><br />But why get hyper?<br />Moreover I get hyper-sensitive about my hyper-ness. I just want to 'chillax'. Why so tough?<br /><br />I sometimes don't like it when the 'elders' get hyper about where I've gone or what I have eaten etc (the usual grind). I disapprove of their hyper nature.<br />But dyoood! I get just as hyper... the difference is I have different things to get hyper about.<br />Oh ho!Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-76067822784145604082009-07-06T13:45:00.000-07:002009-07-06T14:53:14.349-07:00Budge It<span style="font-style: italic;">The Fiscal Deficit is at an alarming 6.8%.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The government has given no plan on how its going to reduce it.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Fringe Benefit Tax is gotten rid off. </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The MAT is increased.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The stock market ostensibly disapproves of the whole thing. Its the worst crash on any budget-day in India. </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><br />A lot has been said about the budget. Opinions are thrown around by leaders of corporate giants, enthusiastic politicians, financial wizards and whoever else could claim space on any media canvas.<br /><br />But honestly (and it is hard to be honest about this because it comes with the cost of sounding ultra out-of-shape financially), it don't matter!!<br /><br />I mean, sure, the allocation of money in the different segments will have impacts on many things.<br />But for someone like me (and I venture out to guess that there are MANY like me) (of course, many is a stupidly relative term here... but whatever), all this makes little difference to what comes in my wallet and how much goes out of it.<br /><br />So why make so much noise about it? Most aam-aadmis are not going to feel much. On the contrary, it sets a negative cycle.<br />The stock market crashes. The financial minds talk negatively about the budget and these talks get broadcasted in media.<br />Then, to make matters worse, polls are taken in which the aam-aadmi is asked what s/he thinks of the whole affair. Their response to the polls are most likely reflective of that negative sentiment projected by the media, never mind that the aam-aadmi is actually in the section of people that might stand to benefit from the budget.<br />Then the polls come out and the cascading effect is clearly seen. A negative ball is sent rolling by the media and it amasses so much mass along the way that it might fatally alter the original intent and actually have a negative impact versus the projected negative impact.<br /><br />The point is, most people, especially the aam-aadmi, have very little clue as to how to interpret the budget. They, in most cases, can't even correctly figure out if it would benefit them or not. If a budget is announced objectively by the FM and absolutely no sentiment was floated in the media powerhouses, the aam-aadmi would be pitiably lost!<br /><br />Hence, a good thing for the govt. to do would be to step in the media and influence it to say good things about the budget. By hook or by crook. Get the financial big-wigs to say good things, the live media to get experts and inverstors (Foreign investors too) to make positive statements and finally print media to project a postive response to the poll (so even the sentiment of the reliable aam-aadmi is postive). I think, even if all this is rigged big-time, most of us will stand to benefit from it.<br /><br />Imagine this. I mean, really imagine this.<br />Two Gujarati gentlemen having a conversation in the train and discussing how 'reliance na share leva joiye'; a doting husband gifting a peice of expensively classy jewelry to his wife; the farmer mighty pleased with his occupation even in the wake of serious occupational hazzards; the proud desi studying/working in a different country claiming how his country is so little affected by all this recession business and how its on its path to glory...<br />Don't we want this? Don't we want to perceive that their govt. is on our side?<br /><br />All the govt. needs to do is convince the people that it is on their side. Even if the govt. does this by bending rules and compromising on some integrity, it is a worthwhile endeavor.<br /><br />Of course, the viability of such an endeavor is a question mark. But if the budget is framed by geniuses whose minds have been tested over a decade (the FM has almost impeccable financial record) and who have the interest of the country at mind, then why not shove a positive opinion about the budget up people's a##?<br /><br />A positive ball will amass positivity and in general, work towards better well-being of the economy. In any case, the aam-aadmi will be a happy even if he's got a highly frustrating educational system and repressive social system to deal with.Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27951423.post-46468257573680618782009-07-01T03:42:00.000-07:002009-07-01T04:12:53.486-07:00The Ants in the HoneyI see them ants... all strewn over on the topmost layer of honey in the jar. It was disgusting.<br />More so because I never really carefully checked the jar for such disturbing sights.<br /><br />I had the honey regularly. I am pretty alright. But now that I have seen this, I cannot have it and be pretty alright.<br /><br />Yep, this could be carpeted under the huge floor of boring epiphany moments (blissful ignorance versus painful knowledge).<br /><br />I moved on to get rid of the ants. I got rid of that layer of honey. I washed the lid and rewashed it.<br /><br />I fought out the logic to conclude that it is okay now, that I can safely consume the honey without being consumed by thoughts of its unhealthiness.<br /><br />I could successfully feign a fake confidence. As they say, in 'heart of hearts' I was still not convinced.<br /><br />That was the non-boring epiphany. We want to 'move on'. We want to believe that its okay. But sometimes, it is more intuitive and more comfortable to accept that non-okay things exist. It is better for one's well-being.<br />(well, this might not be an epiphany after all... dammit! Screw writing your thoughts and diminishing their profoundness!)<br /><br />In other news, it feels good to be back home after a long long hiatus.<br /><br />I was feeling a little lost in the last couple of weeks.<br /><br />But I sat on the recliner, reading this un-put-downable book (Dry by Augusten B). I was riveted.<br />And then I heard a soft flute. And then I heard the leaves rustling and a soft wind flowing until I saw water drops. It felt blissful just to be there, staring at the rain... the smell, the sounds, the nostalgic feelings rising from forgotten cracks of the mind... the familiarity of the window sill, the familiarity of the reclining position, the familiarity of the just-got-out-of-bed-and-started-reading look, the familiarly dying horns of passing cars... I feel at home. The listlessness is replaced by focussable energy... the lost-ness is replaced by the long-lost spirit of fearlessness.<br /><br />I really do love Mumbai. No matter how global we go, home is where the heart is.Gargi Shahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08065925823118430391noreply@blogger.com3