Dhan te Nan

Kya majaa aaya!

Discoing with insanely loud moozik with colorful lights spanking your face at odd times and downing the fifth nectar... and dancing till either your feet are numb, or till you realize you HAVE to visit the washroom and vacate one forcibly if all are occupied... aaahaha!

What is it about 'clubbing'? After one is sufficiently into it, it seems that no relaxation can beat the surreal feel of swaying thru your own universe. It's like finding that perfect spot for acupuncture... and pressing it with the right pressure.

I think the trick is:-
1. You are generally much more fancily dressed and hence more confident

2. If you are a girl, your sexiness quotient goes a notch higher because of all the oomph you carry suddenly. That makes you feel nice!

3. You are free in terms of time... you don't have to reach anywhere... you don't have deadlines or targets swaying over your head like an unwanted bubble.

4. You see other good looking people who are laughing and dancing... that makes you infer that there is so much happiness available here for grabs. So you grab it... tee hee!

5. You dance. You are awkward. Of course, immaterial of what House, Soft rock, Hip hop means, you know no more than 3 different steps . Which means within some time, you have mastered them. You down a few drinks. You get creative enough to come up with variations in them. You like it that you are creative and the newly conjured step totally fits with the music. You are so convinced of that that your face reflects it. This convinces the others and they do that step. Ah! Now you are a leader of the pack... for some moments.

6. The music is too loud for any kind of conversations. That eliminates those meaningless and mindless conversations... or even the pressing need for a conversation to diffuse the airs of awkwardness. You dance with all and sundry. If you are graceful, you can do a full turn and take a quick preview of those around you. Next time, take a half turn and dance with the oh-so-cool dood behind you.

All in all, it really is such a good way to unwind, exercise, grow, re-affirm self-worth, go-all-out.. that there should be a serious effort by the NGOs to promote such a state of well-being.

Really really really. And what with Bollywood hip hop entering the scene? We finally found our panacea in our utopia!

Disturbances

Couple of points and questions (some raised after watching some of 'Zeitgeist Addendum')

1. Money
Money is primarily required because there is scarcity of resources. We pay a higher price for diamonds, and much lower for bananas... and much much lower (zero) for air. That is because diamonds are very scarce, whereas bananas are more abundant... and air is highly abundant and everyone has access to that abundance.
Given this premise, if all that a human needs for existence (his bare necessities) are made highly abundant and accessible, will there be a need for money?
There might be a need for money for barter of the non-essential utilities, which he uses for pleasure and/or recreation.
But what if even that is in abundance?
Since everyone has their basic needs fulfilled (you can have as much food you want), one doesn't really need to 'work to make a living'. Now one works to do stuff one likes.
And that might translate to A loving to make computers that B uses... So A makes a lot of computers and gives (not sells) them to others who want it.
B on the other hand makes other valuable things and gives it. If there is enough variety in people's desire to make 'value', then the system might work... isn't it?


2. Education
Should we teach students skills that make them better at their job (specialized learning) or should we teach them skills to enjoy (kill?) time when they are not at their job (generalized learning)?
In most cases in real-world scenarios, people claim to learn more 'on-job' than in school. This is confirmed by salary hikes for 'experienced' people, even if they lack the requisite academic degree for the job. If people anyway learn more on the job, what is the job of educational institutions (apart from imparting super-basic mathematical/language skills for basic communication and reasoning)?


3. Crime
Given that a majority of crimes are committed by poor people, is there any differential judgment/treatment meted out based on the economic background of the criminal? If fairness is sought, isn't it necessary to have such a differential treatment?


4. Religion
Why do many religions (at least the popular ones) penalize certain natural instincts in order to attain salvation (or its equivalent)? And also, reward or champion the not-so-natural instincts? For instance, giving alms to the needy seems to be totally un-natural, given that it is difficult (naturally) to unnecessarily part with that which you have 'rightfully' earned. It might be that most of us have seen it being done by parents/those-we-look-up-to and hence think it 'natural' of us to want to donate.
It seems that the basic foundations of religions - to be based on 'tennets' or rules to be followed, is flawed. That leaves very little room for evolution of these rules. Societies (governments, law systems, religion) ought to be evolving rather than establishing. And if that is not the case, sooner or later they will be overthrown by a more evolved rule-book, when there is enough nerve in enough people to challenge the established norms even at the cost of salvation.


5. Human Nature vs Human Behavior
Is there such a thing as human nature? Are greed, desire to compete, desire for happiness and all those other things that we call 'human', wired into us? Or is it that as soon as we are born, we are placed into a society that invariably inculcates this in us, making it a human behavior and not human nature?
This seems to be a pretty basic question, one which might have an answer to in an introductary psychology book.
But yet, one wonders, what (if any) proofs can be provided to convincingly argue one case over the other. Somehow, basic psychological conundrums run deep into most of us... and it is difficult to know the answers because there are too many varied 'results' thrown out to us, and all with different force. So it gets tricky to give each result its due importance without bias towards a personal belief.


Sometimes it really seems tempting to shun all attempts to know more about anything that can lead to a change or disturbance in one's personally held belief system. This inertia against change in one's beliefs is perhaps something that nature provides to humans... as a tool for self-preservation?

Reading a scary book!

It took a hella chance for me to be created. Reading about evolution in a dummies-guide-to-evolution sorta book made me feel special. A lot of (LOT) things had to go 'right' (genetically and otherwise) for me to be created. And who knows what I am.

It is difficult to look at humans as a bunch of atoms that are individually nothing, but together, form a unifying pattern. Well, it might be simple if that was the only view possible.

But most of the times, I think of myself as someone who likes so and so music and such and such author, that I like to read jokes and take excessive chances, that I had fallen in love and out of it.
I cant get myself to think of myself in terms of genes and such.

And the reason for getting disturbed to think of myself as a mere combination of some genetic code or a bunch of specializing atoms is precisely that! It leaves very little room for 'good' and 'bad'.
All judgments go for a toss. Somehow (perhaps incorrectly so), the faith in 'choice' lessens. Likes, dislikes, actions, emotions.... all of them seem just another combination of smaller entities (hormones, pheromones, what-not-mones).

I think I like to think 'highly' of people. I would like to continue to think of people (and myself) as someone who has achieved so and so, as someone who lives by so and so philosophy, as someone who... as someONE!

It is unsettling to read these things on evolution... write-ups that coldly disintegrate a person into elements that are incapable of being judged. How can the concept of good and bad disappear? Immaterial of how personal the judgment of good or bad is, the existence of such judgment is paramount to choosing what I do (I choose to blog over not to blog because I see some good in blogging over not blogging).

It is not only unsettling, but it really is scary. One helluva scary domain you don't want to enter if you are not suitably prepared.

And I tought again...

today.

It was wonderful, to explain things to younger minds... to enjoy seeing them learn something new - their minds being enthusiastically receptive to a new concept, and then following it, and then suddenly not following it, and then on further explanation them following it after a suitable 'aha' moment.

Nice nice nice.

During the journey back, I was reminded of Subhadra kumari Chauhan's poem - Mera Naya Bachpan that I liked. I guess now I like it even more... She talk about how wonderful her childhood was, and goes on to describe the 'little things'... and then how she misses it. And then finally, she experiences her childhood again, in her daughter

मेरा नया बचपन – सुभद्राकुमारी चौहान

बार-बार आती है मुझको मधुर याद बचपन तेरी।
गया ले गया तू जीवन की सबसे मस्त खुशी मेरी॥

चिंता-रहित खेलना-खाना वह फिरना निर्भय स्वच्छंद।
कैसे भूला जा सकता है बचपन का अतुलित आनंद?

ऊँच-नीच का ज्ञान नहीं था छुआछूत किसने जानी?
बनी हुई थी वहाँ झोंपड़ी और चीथड़ों में रानी॥

किये दूध के कुल्ले मैंने चूस अँगूठा सुधा पिया।
किलकारी किल्लोल मचाकर सूना घर आबाद किया॥

रोना और मचल जाना भी क्या आनंद दिखाते थे।
बड़े-बड़े मोती-से आँसू जयमाला पहनाते थे॥

मैं रोई, माँ काम छोड़कर आईं, मुझको उठा लिया।
झाड़-पोंछ कर चूम-चूम कर गीले गालों को सुखा दिया॥

दादा ने चंदा दिखलाया नेत्र नीर-युत दमक उठे।
धुली हुई मुस्कान देख कर सबके चेहरे चमक उठे॥

वह सुख का साम्राज्य छोड़कर मैं मतवाली बड़ी हुई।
लुटी हुई, कुछ ठगी हुई-सी दौड़ द्वार पर खड़ी हुई॥

लाजभरी आँखें थीं मेरी मन में उमँग रँगीली थी।
तान रसीली थी कानों में चंचल छैल छबीली थी॥

दिल में एक चुभन-सी थी यह दुनिया अलबेली थी।
मन में एक पहेली थी मैं सब के बीच अकेली थी॥

मिला, खोजती थी जिसको हे बचपन! ठगा दिया तूने।
अरे! जवानी के फंदे में मुझको फँसा दिया तूने॥

सब गलियाँ उसकी भी देखीं उसकी खुशियाँ न्यारी हैं।
प्यारी, प्रीतम की रँग-रलियों की स्मृतियाँ भी प्यारी हैं॥

माना मैंने युवा-काल का जीवन खूब निराला है।
आकांक्षा, पुरुषार्थ, ज्ञान का उदय मोहनेवाला है॥

किंतु यहाँ झंझट है भारी युद्ध-क्षेत्र संसार बना।
चिंता के चक्कर में पड़कर जीवन भी है भार बना॥

आ जा बचपन! एक बार फिर दे दे अपनी निर्मल शांति।
व्याकुल व्यथा मिटानेवाली वह अपनी प्राकृत विश्रांति॥

वह भोली-सी मधुर सरलता वह प्यारा जीवन निष्पाप।
क्या आकर फिर मिटा सकेगा तू मेरे मन का संताप?

मैं बचपन को बुला रही थी बोल उठी बिटिया मेरी।
नंदन वन-सी फूल उठी यह छोटी-सी कुटिया मेरी॥

‘माँ ओ’ कहकर बुला रही थी मिट्टी खाकर आयी थी।
कुछ मुँह में कुछ लिये हाथ में मुझे खिलाने लायी थी॥

पुलक रहे थे अंग, दृगों में कौतुहल था छलक रहा।
मुँह पर थी आह्लाद-लालिमा विजय-गर्व था झलक रहा॥

मैंने पूछा ‘यह क्या लायी?’ बोल उठी वह ‘माँ, काओ’।
हुआ प्रफुल्लित हृदय खुशी से मैंने कहा – ‘तुम्हीं खाओ’॥

पाया मैंने बचपन फिर से बचपन बेटी बन आया।
उसकी मंजुल मूर्ति देखकर मुझ में नवजीवन आया॥

मैं भी उसके साथ खेलती खाती हूँ, तुतलाती हूँ।
मिलकर उसके साथ स्वयं मैं भी बच्ची बन जाती हूँ॥

जिसे खोजती थी बरसों से अब जाकर उसको पाया।
भाग गया था मुझे छोड़कर वह बचपन फिर से आया॥

-Poem by Subhadra Kumari Chauhan

junoon

I get hyper.
That's it - I've said it.

I get hyper-irritated to see my friends 'speak their mind' when they are actually re-quoting some newspaper or smart alec and trying to pass it as their profound thoughts.
I dont know why I get hyper-irritated... I mean I know that all our thoughts are stolen to an extent.

I get hyper-angry when I see things not being done the way I expect them to... when the milk is left un-covered in the fridge, when the mixer is not not properly shut, when the honey bottle is left open teasingly for ants to feast.
I work hard to drive sense into the servants' and family members' minds... but all in vain.

I get hyper-bored to see 'intellectual' blog posts or articles, especially if they are written with an attitude of 'this-is-what-I-think-and-why-don't-you-guys-agree-to-this-obviously-logical-thought'?

I get hyper-annoyed with people who say 'you've changed' when I spout my newly acquired point of view got from my newly gathered wisdom. Dyooode, we are _supposed_ to change... and the word is 'evolve'. I hyper-hate it when people think that contradicting yourself is a crime!

I get into hyper-avoidance when I see certain people. I don't answer calls, say hi to them when I meet... totally avoid them. That's just because I think no good can come of the small talk. But then I get hyper-disappointed at myself for lacking social skills.

I get hyper-happy when I read Bachhi Karkaria's (THE role model) articles in TOI or elsewhere, when I listen to the mellow and understanding voice of Love-guru who attempts to solve the love-problems of the youth of Mumbai in the late night show on radio, when I sip the 2nd glass of sweet lime juice with masala, when I drive on the highway in torrential rains...

But why get hyper?
Moreover I get hyper-sensitive about my hyper-ness. I just want to 'chillax'. Why so tough?

I sometimes don't like it when the 'elders' get hyper about where I've gone or what I have eaten etc (the usual grind). I disapprove of their hyper nature.
But dyoood! I get just as hyper... the difference is I have different things to get hyper about.
Oh ho!

Budge It

The Fiscal Deficit is at an alarming 6.8%.
The government has given no plan on how its going to reduce it.

The Fringe Benefit Tax is gotten rid off.
The MAT is increased.

The stock market ostensibly disapproves of the whole thing. Its the worst crash on any budget-day in India.

A lot has been said about the budget. Opinions are thrown around by leaders of corporate giants, enthusiastic politicians, financial wizards and whoever else could claim space on any media canvas.

But honestly (and it is hard to be honest about this because it comes with the cost of sounding ultra out-of-shape financially), it don't matter!!

I mean, sure, the allocation of money in the different segments will have impacts on many things.
But for someone like me (and I venture out to guess that there are MANY like me) (of course, many is a stupidly relative term here... but whatever), all this makes little difference to what comes in my wallet and how much goes out of it.

So why make so much noise about it? Most aam-aadmis are not going to feel much. On the contrary, it sets a negative cycle.
The stock market crashes. The financial minds talk negatively about the budget and these talks get broadcasted in media.
Then, to make matters worse, polls are taken in which the aam-aadmi is asked what s/he thinks of the whole affair. Their response to the polls are most likely reflective of that negative sentiment projected by the media, never mind that the aam-aadmi is actually in the section of people that might stand to benefit from the budget.
Then the polls come out and the cascading effect is clearly seen. A negative ball is sent rolling by the media and it amasses so much mass along the way that it might fatally alter the original intent and actually have a negative impact versus the projected negative impact.

The point is, most people, especially the aam-aadmi, have very little clue as to how to interpret the budget. They, in most cases, can't even correctly figure out if it would benefit them or not. If a budget is announced objectively by the FM and absolutely no sentiment was floated in the media powerhouses, the aam-aadmi would be pitiably lost!

Hence, a good thing for the govt. to do would be to step in the media and influence it to say good things about the budget. By hook or by crook. Get the financial big-wigs to say good things, the live media to get experts and inverstors (Foreign investors too) to make positive statements and finally print media to project a postive response to the poll (so even the sentiment of the reliable aam-aadmi is postive). I think, even if all this is rigged big-time, most of us will stand to benefit from it.

Imagine this. I mean, really imagine this.
Two Gujarati gentlemen having a conversation in the train and discussing how 'reliance na share leva joiye'; a doting husband gifting a peice of expensively classy jewelry to his wife; the farmer mighty pleased with his occupation even in the wake of serious occupational hazzards; the proud desi studying/working in a different country claiming how his country is so little affected by all this recession business and how its on its path to glory...
Don't we want this? Don't we want to perceive that their govt. is on our side?

All the govt. needs to do is convince the people that it is on their side. Even if the govt. does this by bending rules and compromising on some integrity, it is a worthwhile endeavor.

Of course, the viability of such an endeavor is a question mark. But if the budget is framed by geniuses whose minds have been tested over a decade (the FM has almost impeccable financial record) and who have the interest of the country at mind, then why not shove a positive opinion about the budget up people's a##?

A positive ball will amass positivity and in general, work towards better well-being of the economy. In any case, the aam-aadmi will be a happy even if he's got a highly frustrating educational system and repressive social system to deal with.

The Ants in the Honey

I see them ants... all strewn over on the topmost layer of honey in the jar. It was disgusting.
More so because I never really carefully checked the jar for such disturbing sights.

I had the honey regularly. I am pretty alright. But now that I have seen this, I cannot have it and be pretty alright.

Yep, this could be carpeted under the huge floor of boring epiphany moments (blissful ignorance versus painful knowledge).

I moved on to get rid of the ants. I got rid of that layer of honey. I washed the lid and rewashed it.

I fought out the logic to conclude that it is okay now, that I can safely consume the honey without being consumed by thoughts of its unhealthiness.

I could successfully feign a fake confidence. As they say, in 'heart of hearts' I was still not convinced.

That was the non-boring epiphany. We want to 'move on'. We want to believe that its okay. But sometimes, it is more intuitive and more comfortable to accept that non-okay things exist. It is better for one's well-being.
(well, this might not be an epiphany after all... dammit! Screw writing your thoughts and diminishing their profoundness!)

In other news, it feels good to be back home after a long long hiatus.

I was feeling a little lost in the last couple of weeks.

But I sat on the recliner, reading this un-put-downable book (Dry by Augusten B). I was riveted.
And then I heard a soft flute. And then I heard the leaves rustling and a soft wind flowing until I saw water drops. It felt blissful just to be there, staring at the rain... the smell, the sounds, the nostalgic feelings rising from forgotten cracks of the mind... the familiarity of the window sill, the familiarity of the reclining position, the familiarity of the just-got-out-of-bed-and-started-reading look, the familiarly dying horns of passing cars... I feel at home. The listlessness is replaced by focussable energy... the lost-ness is replaced by the long-lost spirit of fearlessness.

I really do love Mumbai. No matter how global we go, home is where the heart is.