Sunday, March 29, 2009

Obsessive Compulsive Order

----- Beginning of Excerpt----

I find your memories in the recesses of my mind,
and in the portrayals of shady Hindi songs played in the rikshaw.

I hear your ideas and smirks in random conversations,
and a creepy tingling sensation passes through my spine.

I travel, sneeze, slurp, exercise, and smile with you,
And I believe you like it that way.

I share the bed with you every night,
whether you respond to me or not.

The problem (or the lack of it) is that there is no you.
There is only me.

And you are my creation.
Yet you are uncontrollably out of control... like a experiment gone horribly wrong... the typical sci-fi one where the creators are hounded by their creation.

I can't hold on to you because you make me dangerously obsessive.
And that is precisely the reason why I can't let go of you.
I am afraid I will miss you... and lose my few shreds of sanity

--------End of Excerpt---

Sunday, March 01, 2009

The need for a sanction

We are raised in a social structure that have rules and guidelines - explicitly or implicitly laid down. We are taught, and we learn by experience, that generally, living within the framework of these rules and guidelines results in us winning the social game. Of course, there are those who venture beyond this framework, and hence are often viewed differently (awed, booed, outcasted, envied etc).

But most of us find it difficult to challenge this established rulebook. We might not agree with all the social norms, but violating them in an exaggerated fashion not for the reason to prove that you can, but because you actually want to, is unusual.

It is in fact, difficult to even think of violating most of the laws. For instance, a child brought up in a strictly disciplined environment where the 'right conduct' is highly rewarded and slightest deviation from it is stringently punished, might never evolve the need to, say eve-tease a passing girl. It just would not occur to him. It is 'wrong' in his eyes. Even if a desirable girl passes by, the idea of teasing her would not cross his mind, perhaps because such a behavior has been looked down upon.
However, eve-teasing occurs rampantly and that is testimony to the fact that there are people whose social structures do not consider this act that big an offense.

An interesting collision of thoughts occur when you disagree with a social rule. You see nothing wrong in certain activities that are considered 'taboo' by your social structure. You are convinced of their rightness. Not only that, you feel the need to indulge in them. So, there is an activity that is given a clean chit by the court in your mind, and is desired by the I-really-want-to-do-this section of your mind. However, it still requires great courage, conviction, confidence to actually indulge in it. This is probably because your brain gives conflicting signals. It wants to indulge, but it also knows that the person indulging in it is generally penalized by the society. In fact, even when you don't care about the penalty at all, you still hesitate.

It is strange - the mind.