Wednesday, January 06, 2010

choice about choices

You take big decisions seriously. They are life altering after all, you argue.
Casual small decisions are taken 'by the way'. They happen. They are not that significant to you.

You think and re-think and make a decision about the college you want to go to. And then you re-rethink and change your mind. You dilly-dally and weigh the sides until you think you have put in enough labor and are finally satisfied (hopefully). (Yet you are woeful when the college you foregave seems more promising on hindsight, what with your friends enjoying their time there immensely).
Similarly, whether to go for an MBA, MS, job, family beeziness, break, early-marriage, fooling around, waiting for the annual ritual of entrance exams... whatever you select, you ensure that you put in the deserved thought labor to the decision.

But really, what do we think when we think we are trying to decide? Do we look for any new information on the subject, or do we look for new information in the crevices of our mind... about ourselves?

The small decisions that you have made over the period of your life matter more... whether you chose craft or arts or music or drawing as that optional subject, whether you studied sanskrit or not, whether you were given a chance in the inter-school basketball tournament, whether you agreed to participate in the debate competition, whether you forced your mother to get you the new bike so that you could get thrill rides with fellow bikers, whether you were convinced that that silly but cute boy would make for a 'good bf' and gave him a chance, whether you copied and didn't get caught... or got caught, whether you chose to flout basic rules of propriety because you didn't understand the import of it.
Whether you cared about the choices you have to make everyday... whether you realized they were choices in the first place, that would eventually accumulate to what you would look back and call your life!

I realized today how much I enjoy reading... and I attribute that to one blessed day in history when a classmate mistakenly gave me a Nancy Drew book. It was the first serious novel that I read (semi) voluntarily. It was as late as 8th or 9th grade.
And it was absolutely un-put-down-able.  I was hooked...
and i wonder how many other things I could have (still can) potentially gotten hooked on to, only if I made a small choice... not life-altering when I make it, but perhaps life-altering when looked back upon.